My First Love
by Night Angel Gunny
Summary: Has been edited. AO Mac best friend and first love from Chicago was out of the Marine comes and finds Mac. Mac wants to start a relationship with him he still loved him. Was time to get over Claire. M/M possible MPreg
1. Author's Note

**Hello all I need to give my thanks to Donna she edited a lot of my stories that I had already post making them more readable know she is helping me with the ones I am writing know and she has done a great job. So much thanks to Donna you are the bomb girl.**


	2. Chapter 1

**Disc: I do not own character or show of CSI:NY. I do own Devin Anderson**

**Couple: Mac Taylor & Devin Anderson**

**Story: Mac had dated his best friend from Chicago, they really didn't make it known because they were both men. Mac and Devin both joined the Marine but they were placed in different units. Mac came back, made his way up to head CSI of New York City. This is after "Snow Day", Season three, Episode 23.**

**AO: There is no Payton but after the explosion in the lab, Mac gets a call the next day that Devin was out of the Marine and that he was being let off in New York City. He needed some time off after all that had happened and he needed to spend some time where he wasn't trying to solve a case. They decide to go camping, Mac has a cabin by a large lake and they decide to spend a month there. It was going to be cold but they had enough fire wood and to be out in nature made it worth it.**

**----------------------------------------------------------------------**

Mac had picked me up at the base and we went and got the things we needed for the trip. That took us about three hours in all. We decided to drive out there and then. I didn't like the worn out look on Mac's face. Did I still love Mac? Yes. Out of habit, from when we had been together when we were teenagers before we went into the Military, I stroked his hair.

"Spill it, Mac."

He leaned into my touch and he started to tell me how they'd had to protect the lab from a gang trying to get their drugs back. I drove while he talked. I wondered if the people that were in there with him, trying to save the lab, understood that Mac went into "Military mode" when protecting that lab. The lab blowing up wasn't a good thing, but he had done what he thought was best to save his people and the place that he worked. It was like being a Marine, we had our fellow Marines that we would die for and protect. His CSI team was that way for him, and the detectives he worked for.

I slid my hand along his knee, hearing him softly breathing. He had finally fallen asleep. Mac was the dominating force in the lab, and with his team. He was good at it from stories he had told me of their cases. He would write to me about them, that had become his life since Claire died. It was the other way around when we were together. I was always the dominating force in what we did. I was the only person that Mac would submit to, not just as a lover but in almost everything because he trusted me to not abuse it. I had always been protective of Mac, and he knew that. No, me and Mac were not into BSDM then and I still wasn't!

But I was the one that always chose what we did. Mac never minded because we liked most of the same things. If he didn't want to do something, all he had to do was say so and I wouldn't make him. I was glad to see that he was having a peaceful rest, he needed it and he deserved it. The few times that I'd had leave we had gone camping, if he could get the time off, and we would share a bed. I would hold him while he slept. We had never let it go any further because we both knew that I was going back into the fight as a Marine. We never talked about getting back together either, just because it never came up.

We had both chose to go in to the Marines because we wanted to fight, to protect our country. We knew that we couldn't be a couple in the Marines, we could only be friends and that would have to be enough. He came back before me and made me his best man at his wedding to Claire. I liked her, she was a good woman. She was good for Mac and when she died, it took him a long time to get over her. I think he still misses her and was still getting over her death. I wasn't ever going to push him to move on and be with me again. But I was never going to leave Mac, even if we did just stay friends.

When we got there, we moved everything in to where it needed to be. We checked the wood we had left there from the last time. It was still where it was left, nice and dry because we had covered it with tarps. Mac was getting things ready inside as I grabbed the wood and started to haul enough in for the night and most of the following morning. When we were done, I grabbed a towel and threw it on the bear skin rug.

"Mac, shirt off and on your stomach." He followed orders like he always had. I slid up behind him and put some warm oil on his back and started to massage his neck and shoulders first, hearing the soft moans from him. I worked all the tension out of his shoulders and then worked my way down his back. When I was done, I took a warm cloth and some soap and washed his back. Then I had him turn over and I started to work on his chest with the oil.

"Dev, this is just what I needed, thanks."

I felt his hands slide along my thighs, they were currently placed on either side of his lower abs. I looked at him. Mac was getting turned on by the massage. I soaped his chest up to wash the oil off and I smiled. He was as handsome as he'd ever been.

"Good, you needed to relax some."

I moved to where I was kneeling beside him and I turned to start putting a few more pieces of wood on the fire. I turned and saw Mac sitting up. He stroked my face slowly.

"Going to be good to have you around all the time, you know, Dev."

I smirked some and stood up, offering him a hand to help him up.

"Going to take me some time to get used to not being in the Marines. But after twenty years I'm ready to be a civilian again."

We had already eaten dinner because we didn't want to have to cook tonight. I sat down on the couch and Mac sat beside me. He looked at me.

"I have missed you, Dev. I was thinking, since you're retired now, why don't you move in with me? I've got a spare room in New York City."

I looked at him with a raised brow.

"You sure about that, Mac? I have an old Marine buddy that has a garage, he's giving me a job working for him. He offered me the apartment above the garage."

Mac looked to me he nodded.

"As long as we have known each other, we have liked a lot of the same things. I would love to have you live with me. Make the place feel less lonely, with a roommate."

I looked at him and then looked back at the fire. It was a dangerous idea, even if it was tempting. The fact is, I was still in love with Mac, but I didn't want to push him to be with me.

"I'll think about it, Mac."

I could see Mac was nervous, which was rare. He looked at me.

"What is there to think about, Devin?"

I looked at him and took a deep breath.

"One: we have never lived together, yes, we've seen each other naked and we were lovers. That's a second thing, Mac: from the age of sixteen until we joined the Marines, we were a couple. I missed you too, Mac, but the thing is, I never moved on from you. I was never mad that you married Claire, you were happy and so I was."

I stroked his face before he could say anything. I knew that look!

"It's been around five years since she died, but that doesn't mean that you're ready for anything. We'll live in the same city, Mac, for now because living with you is going to be too hard for me."

Mac looked at me and he leaned forward. He kissed me, softly.

"I missed us, but you're right, Claire made me happy. I didn't stop loving you, Devin, just because I loved someone else as well. It never meant I stopped loving you."

I took a deep breath. Why did he have to say that? I stood up and walked to the kitchen.

"You want a beer?"

I may have been the dominating one in our friendship and our relationship, but Mac was a lot better at showing his feelings than I was. I could talk to Mac easier about my feelings, not fully, but enough that he always understood me.

"Sure, I'll take a beer, Devin."

I walked back in and handed him a beer. Then I went to sit in front of the fire. I looked at the fire, it was nice to be out in the woods again. He spoke, he was quiet but I heard him.

"Devin, I want to be with you again."

I sat near the fire, my legs bent and spread. I closed my eyes. Then I heard him walking towards me, he took my beer and set it on the coffee table. He knelt between my legs. I opened my eyes and looked at him.

"Mac…"

Mac started to kiss me, slowly, as my hand slid along his bare ribs. He groaned into the kiss. He had his hands on my thighs. He was sitting on his ass with his legs under my bent knees. I put my hands behind me and leaned back so I could look at him. His fingers slid along my outer thighs as he looked back at me.

"Take me back, Devin, please?"

I laid on my back on the bear skin rug, running my hands through my hair. He put his hands on both sides of my head and he started to slowly kiss me. I moaned as I softly slid my tongue along his bottom lip as he gently parted his lips. I groaned as his tongue slid into my mouth and I started to suckle on his tongue. I could feel his hard cock, through his pants, pressing against mine. I slide my hands along his ribs, he was breathing hard. He pulled back. I pushed him up as I sat up, sliding fingers over his face. Then I stood up, picked up my beer and took a deep drink.

Mac stood up, took my beer and set it down again. He looked at me.

"Devin, answer me, please? Do you want to be with me again? Try to be a couple again?"

I was a few inches taller than Mac. I looked him in the eyes.

"Yeah, Mac, I do."

I grabbed my beer and headed outside to the porch to watch the stars and drink my beer. Trying to think straight about what I had just said, what I wanted and what I needed.

I slid a flash light into my back pocket and took a walk into the woods. I needed to clear my head. I loved Mac with everything that I was. He said he was ready for a relationship since Claire died, he had never lied to me before, so maybe he was. I came back, I'd been gone for a couple of hours. I walked in quietly. I threw a pillow on the couch. Mac came out of the bed room.

"Come to bed, Devin."

I shook my head and looked at him, smiling.

"Get some sleep, Mac. I am going to take the couch for a while. Keep the door open so the heat can get in there, it's going to be cold in the morning."

He walked across to me and looked at me.

"Why are you going to sleep out here?"

I looked at him and smiled. I went to the bedroom and he followed. I grabbed the extra pillow and a cover.

"'Cause I am going to do this right. It's been twenty years since we have been in a relationship, Mac. I am not rushing any of this."

He nodded, he could see what I meant, although he didn't like this idea but he knew that I was right. I stroked his face softly and lowered my head to kiss him slowly.

"Goodnight, Babe, sleep well."

His hands rested on my chest as he looked at me. He kissed me softly.

"Goodnight, Devin"

He headed to his room as I slid my pants and shirt off laid down in my boxers. I pulled the covers over my waist and stretched out. I didn't feel like breaking the couch down into a bed. Maybe this could work, us being together, but I was going to take it slow, I wasn't going to rush it. I finally fell asleep.


	3. Chapter 2

**Disc: I do not own character or show of CSI:NY. I do own Devin Anderson**

**Couple: Mac Taylor & Devin Anderson**

**----------------------------------------------------------------------**

I had been asleep for a good three hours when I suddenly sat up, sweating and shaking.

"Fucking Hell!"

Mac came out at about the same time. I stood up and headed to the kitchen, still sweating. I was covered with sweat, all over my body. I grabbed a beer and popped the lid off and took a long swig. He touched my shoulder.

"Devinm what's wrong? You're sweating and shaking."

I took a wet cloth and started to wipe my shoulders and chest down. He hadn't seen my back in the full light yet. When he went to wipe my back down, he paused. He turned back around.

"Don't worry about it, Mac."

Mac looked at me and raised a brow.

"What the hell happened to you? I mean, I know you were in Iraq but that damage to your back is bad. I mean, the scars look, maybe, a month old."

I grabbed my beer and walked over to grab my tank top so I could slide it on.

"Keep forgetting those scars are back there. You don't need to see them."

I sat down on the couch and took another long drag of the beer. He sat down next to me and ran his hands along the side of my face, slowly.

"Dev, what happened?"

He stroked my face and then slowly he slid his hands down my chest.

"Mac, go and get some rest. It's only about 4am."

I knew he would ask again and that he was not going to go to bed until he found out.

"Devin, I'll stay out here until you go back to sleep."

I stroked my hand over his face and leant in, kissing him slowly and looking him in the eyes. He started to kiss me back as I slid my hands along his neck, softly.

"Mac, I am okay babe."

I kissed him again, slowly, and stood up to slide some sweats on.

"I am going to go run along the river."

I took his hand and guided him to the bedroom. I stroked his face, kissing him. But before I could say anything, he spoke.

"You know, it helps more if you talk about it, not push it away. Devin, I am here for you, please?"

I sighed as I sat down on the bed. Mac knelt before me and stroked my face softly.

"They captured me and four other men. What they didn't understand was they got the wrong unit! Hung all four of us from the wall. We were left with just our boxers on." I took a breath. "Mac, you don't need to hear this."

I stood up as Mac stood up and softly took my hand, looking to me.

"Why not? You asked me to tell you what happened at the lab. What happened to Danny and Adam. I want to, and need to, be here for you."

I didn't want to lose my temper right now. I stood up, walked out, closing his door and walked to the couch. I grabbed the blanket, pushed my pants off and laid on the bear skin rug in front of the fire with the cover over my hips and legs. I threw the pillow under my head and tried to even out my breathing so I would calm down and get some more sleep. I heard Mac come out, I felt him slide under the covers and lay his head on my chest. I closed my eyes.

He slid his hands along my stomach.

"Will you tell me when you're ready?"

I rolled over, slide the pillow under his head. I sat up and stretched out, looking into the fire.

"You and me isn't going to work, Mac. I think I'll go to Chicago instead of living in New York City. For a relationship to work out, both people have to open up, talk and let the other know how they're feeling. Me, I don't do that very well. You really need to find someone who can do that, Mac."

He was up fast and straddling my lap, looking me in the eyes.

"Fucking hell, Devin. I need you and only you. So, it may take you time to open up to me. I can wait, just don't end this before it even starts. That isn't fair to you or me."

I looked him in the eyes.

"Then Mac, you're going to have to deal with the fact that I am not going to open up about my time as a Marine or what happened to me before I finally left the Marines. There are things you will never know about me, and you need to be ready for that."

He looked at me and he placed his hands on my chest, looking straight into my eyes. I spoke again.

"Don't assume that because you tell me something about your time as a Marine, I am going to open up. So, only tell me something when you want to tell me, don't just do it cause you think your going to get me to tell you about part of my life that you were not part of. We really need to be clear here, Mac, because you're pushing me to talk about something I will never talk about. It has me ready to leave you, right now."

I was a bastard and I knew it. I knew I was a bastard when I had to do this and look at the man I love and see pain in his eyes. He took a deep breath.

"Fine, I understand! I won't push you to talk about your past when we were apart for twenty years. I don't like it, but I can't lose you again. I need you."

I touched his chest and kissed him softly. I stroked his face as I slid a hand along his face softly.

"Devin, come to bed with me. At least let me hold you, it may help you sleep."

I nodded some as he stood up. He took the pillow and cover. We went into the bedroom and he put the cover down on the bed and threw the pillow up with the others. I laid down on my side, looking at the wall. I felt his hands slide along my stomach and his head softly nuzzle the spot between my shoulder blades. I stroked along his arms as I felt him relax against my back some as he slowly started to fall asleep. I closed my eyes, letting myself fall asleep, feeling safe in Mac's arms. When I woke the sun was up. I must have turned to my other side because Mac's head was now nuzzled into my chest, his arm draped around my ribs. I stroked along his back. As I heard him mumble against my chest, I smirked softly. Mac stretched out and rolled on his back, looking up at me.

"I love you, Devin."

I stroked his chest. Truth is, I loved hearing those words and that was one of the emotions I was never scared to show Mac. I kissed his shoulder softly.

"Love you too, Mac."

He looked at me as he stroked my face before kissing me softly.

"Devin when we're in bed, can you take your shirt off? It doesn't bother me to see it. I like your bare skin against mine."

I sat up, I knew it was him asking me to have some faith in him. That I knew he wouldn't treat me different or act different around me because of my back. I slid my shirt off and put it to the side. He touched my chest softly and kissed my shoulder.

"Thank you, Dev."

I laid on my back as I looked to the ceiling. He slid his hands along my chest as he looked at me. I looked at Mac. I smiled some before I slid out of the bed and headed to the living room. I sat on the couch after starting the fire and sliding some sweats on. He came to sit next to me. He stroked my hair and looked at me.

"Dev, what's wrong?"

I looked at him and kissed his cheek softly.

"Mind if we head back today?"

He looked at me as a few different emotions crossed his face.

"Why?"

I laid my head on his shoulder and kissed his neck softly.

"Because I want to set up my apartment and I think I need to talk to my doctor."

He looked closely at me.

"Will you consider moving in with me? What's wrong that you need to talk to your doctor?"

He put his arms around me, holding me close to him.

"Back's bugging me and my right shoulder is acting up."

He nodded some, he stroked my chest as he kissed me slowly.

"About living with me?"

I stood up after kissing his shoulder. I headed over to my back pack, set on the floor in the corner. I looked through it. I grabbed some Ice Hot to rub on my shoulder and I looked through all my pills. I had to take most of them.

"Mac, I'll live with you."

I felt him walk over and take the Ice Hot. He started to massage it into my shoulder. I groaned some and leaned against him.

"Sometimes, I close my eyes and I remember it all. I want it all gone, Mac, the memory and the fucking pain."

His knees were along side my ribs as he sat behind me. He kissed my shoulder. I turned around, kissed him long and hard. He slid his hands around my neck as I kissed down his neck, nipping and biting softly. He groaned quietly. I head his breathing pick up, I kissed down his chest and I heard him cry out as I softly started to bite at his nipple. I pushed his pants down as I quickly took his hardening cock in my mouth and started to slide it down my throat. I felt his fingers slide softly along my neck and into my hair as I started to bob my head up and down on his cock, he whimpered softly.

"Devin, you're going to make me cum!"

I stroked his balls and lifted my lips off his cock and looked him in the eyes.

"That's the idea, Mac."

I lowered my head and took his cock in my mouth again and started to bob my head down harder and faster. I stroked his balls and I felt them twitch as he started to cum down my throat. I licked him clean and slid his boxers back up. I leaned up and kissed him hard. He slid his arms around my neck again, breathing hard. I bite his bottom lip as I stood up, shoving my things in my bag. I headed to the kitchen to see what we had got from the store. I slid a clean shirt on as I grabbed some juice, pouring myself a glass. I felt Mac kissing my shoulder through my shirt, stroking my back.

"What about you?"

I groaned as his hands slid over my hard cock in my sweats. I turned and stroked his face, kissing him slowly.

"Not now, get ready so we can head back. I'll call my doctor then we'll spend the day at your place, just being together, okay?"

He groaned. I knew he wanted to pay me back for getting him off so quickly. He kissed me slowly and stroked my face, then headed to get his things ready. We started to pack our things and then we headed out.

When we got back to New York City my doctor saw me as Mac waited in the waiting room. When I came out I had a few new prescriptions and we headed back to his place. We spent the next week just talking and getting to know each other again, and sleeping in the same bed.


	4. Chapter 3

**Disc: I do not own character or show of CSI:NY. I do own Devin Anderson**

**Couple: Mac Taylor & Devin Anderson**

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

I was in bed when I heard Mac come home late from work. I sat up and looked to him.

"Welcome home, Mac." He had been busy for the past few days and when I'd talked to him, I knew he had dealt with a hard case. I walked over and slid my hands up to undo his shirt. "Hard case, Babe?" I slid his shirt off and he moaned as my hands slid over his bare chest. He kissed me slowly.

"Yes!" I undid his pants and pushed them down and slid my hands along his cock, through his boxers. He was getting hard.

"Need some help, getting rid of that frustration, Mac?" He groaned softly, thrusting into my hand as he kissed me slowly and moaned.

"Devin, I want you." This wasn't going to be fast, this was going to be nice and slow. I slid his boxers off and whispered in his ear.

"To get that, you have to be a good boy, Mac. Can you be a good boy for me?" I slid my hands along his neck, as I kissed him. He moaned some as he whispered.

"Always, for you, Devin." I ran my hand down to his hand and guided him to the bed. I got on the bed, after taking my boxers off, and I took his cock in my mouth. He groaned as he softly thrust into my mouth. I stroked my hands to his balls, tugging on them gently and hearing him moan was getting me hard. I ran my hands over his chest, breathing hard.

"Mac, suck on me!" He knew it was a order and he slid between my legs, guiding my cock down his throat. I threw my head back and ran my hand along his neck as I trembled. I didn't let him do this often because he liked it. I slid my hands down his back, but he deserved a treat tonight. I moaned softly, whispering softly. "Mac, get on the bed, Baby." He lifted up, I kissed him deeply as I slide him on to his back, stroking my hand along his cock and looking into his eyes. "Mac, you're so hard." He groaned as we kissed again, my hand sliding up and down his hard cock, he lifted his hand to touch my chest and whispered.

"Devin, you make me this way!" I kissed him as I found the lube and spread his legs, putting one bent as I slide my fingers along his ass with the lube on my fingers. He cried out softly as I slide one finger into him. I sat up some, looking at him, as he slid his hand along my cock and I groaned.

"Don't stop, Mac, you need to keep me hard." I threw my head back as I started to softly hump into his tight hand, as he stroked my hard on. I slide two fingers into him, hearing the slight change of sounds I knew I had found his prostate. I slowly started to work on his prostate as he humped my fingers.

"Devin, I need you in me, please." I leaned up and pulled my hands out gently, before I touched his head and then guided it to my hard cock. He started to slowly take it down his throat as I laid down, I took his hand and put some lube on his fingers.

"Finger me, Mac." I moaned as I felt the first finger slide into me. I moaned loudly as I moved against his finger. Mac didn't get to mount me often. He moved two fingers into me as I slide my hands along his hair, I felt him slide over my prostate and I softly cried out as I moved against it. I also felt his tongue around my cock. I started to cum down his throat, softly crying out. He sat up, confused. I kissed him slowly, tasting my cum on his tongue as I stroked his tongue with mine. I started to put some lube on my hand and I started to stroke and coat his cock. "I want you to make love to me, Mac." His breathing caught in his throat, he kissed me slowly as I worked his cock in my hand and he whispered softly.

"Are you sure, Dev?"

I slide my hands down his chest and then I turned around onto my hands and knees, putting a pillow under my head. I felt him ease his way into me. Finally he slid his hands along my hips and he started to thrust into me, slowly. I groaned and moved back against his cock. I had put a towel down under me, and as he started to move inside me, I could feel the frustration he needed to release take over, as he started to get rough. I leaned back softly against his chest, feeling Mac slide his hand down and start to stroke my cock hard. He grunted, and so did I, when I started to cum on the towel. I convulsed around his cock and he started to come, biting my shoulder as he thrust through his orgasm. I breathed hard, turning around and easing him onto his back. I went to grab a cold cloth and started to clean his cock then I wiped it around my stomach and cock. I slide the sheet up and Mac sat up, stroking my stomach. He looked at me, smiling softly.

"Thank you, Devin. I needed to make love to you." I lay down, sliding my hands through my hair, stretching out Mac laid his head on my chest, as he strokes my stomach. I felt his lips kissing my chest and I stroked my hand down his back, kissing his shoulder.

"Get some sleep, you've had a long case." I stroked his hair softly and kissed his shoulder. "I've got to go out for an hour or two." He sat up as I had stood up to get dressed.

"Thought you had today off, Devin?" I slide some jeans on, after putting some socks on. I looked at him and stretched softly.

"Got that apartment above the garage set up. Took me a while, I had to get it carpeted and put some furniture in it. I'm unloading some of my things and setting them up around the apartment, from the storage unit." Mac stood up, wrapped a sheet around himself and walked over to me.

"Devin, I thought we were going to live together and give it a try. It's been, maybe a month, since you moved in." Since he wasn't going to sleep, I tossed down my two large duffle bags and started to pack my clothes.

"You need to get some rest, Mac, you had a hard shift." Mac kneeled next to me, watching me packing my clothes in the bag.

"Are we not working out?" I looked at him and then continued to what I was doing.

"No, whatever we have here, is still going on! I would not have let you make love to me about five minutes ago and then tell you that I am breaking up with you." I closed the duffle bags and threw my shirt on. I grabbed my leather jacket and my bags, throwing them over my shoulders. Mac looked at me.

"So what, your just going to move out? Were you going to tell me?" I looked at him and nodded.

"Yeah, I was going to take you to lunch and then show you my new place." He touched my chest as he looked at me, stroking my chest.

"What went wrong with living with me? What did I do wrong?" I sighed as I walked down the stairs. I didn't really want to talk about it. I set my things down on the couch and walked to the kitchen, telling him that we were not breaking up and letting him know that he did nothing wrong. He followed me down and he looked at me. "Devin!" I sighed as I poured some milk in a glass.

"Why the hell do you think you do did anything wrong?" He moved to me as he looked at me.

"Because I thought we were happy." I stroked his face and lowered my head and kissed him slowly.

"I am happy as hell to be with you, Mac. My place is a ten min drive from here, so if you have a tough case, or you need me, you can come over. You can always call me, when you need me to." I slid my hands along his neck, I looked him in the eyes.

"We have been in a relationship for four to five weeks and I want to have my own place, Mac. But I lived here for a while to make you happy and get my place ready." He slid his hands along my face some, finished the milk and put it in the sink, washing it. Mac looks over to me.

"I'll help you get your place ready." I shook my head some and walked to grab the bags.

"Na, you've been working hard, Babe, for three days. If you can't sleep, call me and I'll let you know how to get there. But try to sleep for awhile, it's 06:15 now and when it's 12:00 I'll be back and we'll go and have lunch."

This would give Mac time to think, if he couldn't get any sleep. Hopefully he would understand that I needed my own place. Just being together is nice, but living together right off the bat, just scared me some. I walked out and drove off to the small apartment above the garage.


End file.
